iv.

Bibimbap watches me when I sleep. I don’t know why, or how to make him stop. But at the same time I don’t really care. As long as he doesn't bother the others I think it is fine, probably. Sometimes he wakes me up though. This morning, Bibimbap started talking to me. “It’s eleven, you should probably wake up or you won’t sleep tonight.”

I rolled over. “I don’t care,” I moaned. “It’s Saturday. No classes.”

He just poked me through my comforter. I didn’t want to be awake anyway. Awakeness is too much effort for someone like me. I like dreaming.

“I know you do,” Bibimbap said. “But you need to wake up and live today.” He was smaller now, sitting above my head on the metal bar of my bottom bunk. I didn’t know what that meant, that “live” word. Bibimbap kicked my head. “Wake up,” he said again.

“You’re annoying,” I whined, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. Tiny Bibimbap just sat there on the bar on my bed and watched me quietly, the universe inside of him swirling with every movement. Somewhere in the distance I heard a train again. “Is there a train station somewhere near campus?” I asked Bibimbap. He remained quiet and swung his legs back and forth.

My roommates weren’t in the other room. I had this feeling, like a sense of aloneness as I sat there in my bed and woke up. Jessi and Audrey were probably at their part time jobs. Melanie was never in the room when we were. And the room was dark, even though the curtains were pulled back, I assumed courtesy of Bibimbap. In the sky, dark clouds were beginning to form over campus.

“Rain,” Bibimbap informed me. I didn’t want to listen to him anymore so I stood up and walked out into the empty study room. Stepping over Jessi’s backpack and books strewn everywhere on the floor, I took my seat at my desk and turned on my computer. When the screen came to life, though, Bibimbap’s head was all I could see. “Aren’t you going to shower?” he asked me before disappearing and letting the computer turn on as usual.

“No,” I answered him, just knowing he was somewhere still in the room.

“You should shower,” he said from the bathroom. The shower turned on and I sighed, not sure what his plan for me today was. Normally, Bibimbap didn’t care what I did. He just stood and watched and never spoke and sometimes if I didn’t think too hard I could forget he was there completely. But that was hard to do. You have to empty your head and not think. After a week of practicing turning off my head to ignore Bibimbap, I have become pretty good with it. But today there was no ignoring him, so I reluctantly undressed for a shower before finding out what Bibimbap wanted with me.

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